we remember everything
by smileyfacebabe
Summary: When Sakura receives the order she goes home, locks the door, gets undressed, and then spends more time and effort getting redressed than she has in years. Once that is said and done she meets with Sai to find her two boys, but there is no Kakashi there to pull them apart now and it is up to her. (It takes Sai hours to pry them apart. The world is darker now, in his opinion.)
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: I haven't read any Naruto canon in like six years, so I was going to stick to AU's, but this is technically an AU, so... Yeah. Basically one of those terrible, what-if, scenarios. Sakura-centric, not really a ship. I had an idea at work and it wouldn't let me go. Except an aftermath of this drabble centering on Sai sometime tomorrow when my eyes stop doing that awful blurring thing. (Also the long title for this is "we remember everything [in my heart I know I've failed you, but you left me here alone], which is from Five Finger Death Punch's song 'Remember Everything'. Go watch the video and listen to the song. Mega sad, man, mega sad.)

Dedication: To all the clothing cleptos in the world, who wrap themselves in the things of others' because they love them and need them near during times when hugs are out of the question. I am one of you and I understand.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except this awful idea and it's not even that original.

* * *

When Sakura receives the order she goes straight home. She goes through the front door and locks it behind her, because secrets travel fast in the village and she doesn't have time to waste. But despite that, despite the fact that she's already hours behind, despite the fact that she might not catch up even if she tries, she still takes the time to lock the door, to peel her clothes from her body, and to dress herself again.

Vanity is something she left behind in her genin days. It's been years since Sakura bothered to run a brush through her hair or worried if her shirt was wrinkled or her skirt was stained. Her priorities lay instead in her teammates, her friends, and her village. But that is not the case now.

Now she takes a moment to dig clean bandages out of her bathroom, to wrap them in straight, even layers around her wrists and thighs. She brushes her hair and then smoothes it back so that the uneven ends of her pink hair brush her collarbone gently as she turns her head. Her drawers are pulled open as she digs out the black pair of shorts Ino left over once before she takes the time to pull them on in such a way that the clean bandages don't bunch or shift.

The weapons pouch she pulls on is Sasuke's, from before he left. The black sleeve-less mid-drift baring shirt is Sai's, borrowed during a mission and never returned, wider in the shoulders than she is but tight around her chest. She brushes her hair again after the shift is pulled over her head, smoothing her hands through it mechanically, and then digs out the skirt Hinata had left behind on accident. The skirt is from the same night as Ino's shorts, a night that had been filled with the sake and laughter flushed faces of her friends. It is white where Sakura's usual skirts are pink, but it is clean and free of rips or tears, basically brand new. Sakura runs her fingers over it, tracing the edge slowly before turning to retrieve Naruto's gloves. The pair she pulls on is one that he had thrown at her face once in a cheap attempt at distraction after accidentally insulting her and they are worn and battered, almost too big as they slide over her fingers, but she feels something settle in her chest as snaps the clasp around her wrist.

The second to last thing she grabs is Kakashi's weapons. She doesn't plan on using them much, hasn't had the need for such things when her fists work so well, but they were Kakashi's and, just as she does with all the others, she needs a bit of him to take with her. They go into Sasuke's pouch and once it's snapped closed she takes the time to pull her headband on. The metal engraving is centered over her forehead and the knot is tied tightly and evenly at the nape of her neck. She runs her fingers through her hair again, focusing on the motion, even though it will become tangled and messy in her run. The last thing she pulls on a pair of boots her Shishou bought her for her birthday, black and sleek and not yet torn up or dirty.

She both does and does not recognize herself in the reflection in the window as she leaves the house. Her back is straight, her hair is curled slightly at the end, but her face is so solemn, so serious. Dark clothes, dark eyes, she looks more like a true ninja than she ever has before, even though she has forgone the jounin vest she was given over a year before. But she will forgo the vest, forgo all types of protection and formality if it means she can pretend for a short time that she is surrounded by those she loves, wrapped up in their possessions and things as if they are all wrapped around her at once. She burrows into their love and pretends, just for a second, that everything will be okay. But then that moment passes and Sakura takes the window out of her apartment and turns toward her destination.

Despite her orders and even more despite his, Sai meets her a block away from the gates. His eyes travel the length of her body, pausing for a second longer on the shirt as if he recognizes it, but he says nothing about her clothes, about her hair, or about the obvious care that went into her change. She likes to imagine his eyes soften, but he is Sai, the least likely person to understand her motivations. And yet he is here, standing in front of her, about to help her commit an act that borders on treason. She closes her eyes, breathes deeply, and tries to memorize the moment, the sounds and smells and feeling of Konoha as a whole.

"Hag," Sai says. His voice is not soft or sympathetic and Sakura has never been more grateful for that. He also does not touch her, as someone else might. All he does is speak, his eyes trained on her when she opens hers, blank and quiet.

"We have to go."

"I know," she answers quietly. "Lead the way."

Tracking has never been her strength and neither is it Sai's, but Naruto had not been trying to hide when he had set out from the village. They follow his steps, pushing themselves harder than they ever have before, and when what is left of Sasuke's team appears before them Sai drops to meet them without pause, without question, leaving her to leap over their heads and continue forward. From there she follows the obvious path of destruction, her heart pounding in her chest.

Her boys are in a clearing, one she suspects had not been there before they had started their battle. One stands to one side, dark and menacing in clothes she does not recognize, and the other across from him, orange jacket strangely nowhere to be seen. Both are charging their attacks, arms drawn back, and both are bleeding from various points on their bodies.

Naruto's control has slipped on the jinchuuriki and the power Orochimaru has given Sasuke has gone to his head. They are past words, past stopping, and Sakura is not surprised. She has known their lives would come to this moment for six years and while she is not surprised she is still disappointed and heartbroken and aching in a way that reaches past her exhaustion, past everything else. Her presence goes unnoticed and when the boys leap at one another she takes a deep breath and does the same.

There is no Kakashi to intervene this time. Haruno Sakura is dead before any of her boys can shout her name in alarm.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: There is an extra comma in here that is highly unnecessary, but I cannot find it for the life of me. I am now highly annoyed. If anyone sees a comma and finds themselves thinking, "oh, wow, you're really, really unnecessary, where are you here," let me know. Please, god, let me know. It's driving me crazy that I know there's a comma in here I don't need and yet it lingers, taunting me. Anyway! This is the Sai companion piece that I promised! I was watching the episode where Sasuke and Naruto fight on the hospital and somewhere in between there and the episode where Sasuke leaves the village something sparked inside me. So yeah! Sai and sad little Naruto and Sasuke. I love them all, precious babies. Let me know what you all think.

Dedication: To my sister, who wails loudly every time I mention killing characters in my head. Love you babe!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

* * *

It takes a few hours to pry Sasuke and Naruto from Sakura's corpse. The process involves crouching down to their level, worming his fingers between her silent, still body and their clinging limbs, and pulling. When that fails Sai resorts to pulling at their hair and nudging their shoulders until, inch by inch, Sakura's body is released. It is a few hours into the process before Sai realizes that the two boys, both barely seventeen, aren't just murmuring incoherently in their despair, they're murmuring actual words, lips pressed against Sakura's cool skin. He pauses, his fingers curled around each of their shoulders, and it is only once he deciphers the words they are saying does he continue with his task of removing them from the body. If he is a bit more gentle with them after figuring out what they are saying, well, there is no one around to see the way his fingers ghost over Sasuke's neck and Naruto's cheek in a bad mimicry of what he had seen Sakura do to a sick patient once.

A few minutes after figuring out what the boys are saying Sai forces himself to ignore them, essentially turning his ears off like a switch. However he finds it difficult to do so despite his years of training and so Sasuke's weak sobs of _don't leave me_ mix in with Naruto's repetitive incantations of _I promised to protect you, I vowed and I failed, I promised to protect you, I vowed and I failed, Sakura, Sakura please, I promised-_ until Sai forgets the sound the wind makes as it goes through the trees, forgets everything but the sounds of the two grieving boys. But eventually he does manage to pry the two elite ninja from their fallen comrade and once he has accomplished his task he pauses, unsure of what to do now that he has done so.

Almost immediately Naruto crumples sideways into Sasuke. He collapses into himself in a way that makes him seem very small, almost as small as a child, and Sasuke twists to take his weight as if the motion is second nature. Sai watches as Sasuke leans his weight into Naruto's slumped form as if he hadn't been trying to kill him mere hours before. Sasuke's nose tucks itself into Naruto's neck while the blond's hands clench in the material that bunches around Sasuke's hips. Both are stained with Sakura's blond and neither speak once removed from her corpse.

"Naruto," Sai says. The boy does not move and with a short exhale of breath the former ROOT member carefully picks up the pink haired girl's body. She is heavy and her skin is chilled against his exposed skin. It is unnerving how she sits in his arms, her face resting against his shoulder. She once sat peacefully in his arms in a way very much like this, but at that time she had been drunk and dozing, her arms wound around his neck so that he could not drop her. Now her arms hang uselessly and her chest does not rise and fall with deep, even breaths. There is no flush of sake upon her cheeks. Sai swallows and addresses Naruto once more.

"Naruto," he repeats louder. He wonders if he has been hurt, because his voice is rough and it is difficult to swallow suddenly. He pushes the feeling down forcefully, shifting his weight onto his left leg so that he can kick at Naruto with his right.

"Dickless," he says clearly. His foot swings toward Naruto in a kick, one without the force to even bruise, but before he can connect the action to the blond's side Sasuke's hand is there. The ex-Leaf ninja's fingers curl around Sai's ankle, squeezing him tightly. Relief begins to swell in Sai, but then he sees Sasuke's eyes, blank and still glinting with tears, and the feeling slips away with the wind. Sasuke is no more aware of his presence than Naruto and has only responded to the action automatically. It seems as if Sasuke has simply protected Naruto from what he perceived as a threat without thinking about it and though it is a strange action for the last of the Uchiha clan to perform it steadies something inside of Sai.

Sakura would have been pleased to see Sasuke protecting Naruto in such a way. She would have smiled quietly in her lopsided smug little way upon the sight of her two genin teammates curled together. Sai finds himself wishing she were here to see this, that the body that had taken the hit between the two had been some sort of clone and that it was all a ruse to make them see how important they are to each other. But she cannot and he decides right there and then that if Sakura cannot witness such a thing he shall feel pleased in her place. The hollowness lingers contrary to his decision. He ignores it.

"Get up," he orders the grieving pair. Naurto's fingers twitch at the sound of his voice while Sasuke's grip tightens on his ankle. Sai presses his lips together, an action he has witnessed the Fifth Hokage do repeatedly in Team 7's presence, and then twists his ankle, breaking Sasuke's grip.

"She is dead. It's time to get up and return to the village."

His statement lingers in the air for a second before it brings a reaction out of the pair. Naruto lifts his head slowly, as if his head weighs more than the mountain which bears his father's resemblance. Sasuke heaves with breath and fists his hands in Naruto's shirt, but does not look at Sai. In response he levels them both with a flat look, though he cannot control the way his fingers tighten against Sakura's body as his own frame is swept with emotions. He clears his throat and tries to ignore the misery that is reflected his Naruto's watery, red-rimmed eyes.

"She has gone past the point where you can follow her now, Dickless," he says as gently as he is able. Naruto still takes the statement as if it is a blow to the chest, but Sai continues on stubbornly. "It is time for you two to walk your own paths, paths she cannot be a part of. It is time to let her go."

Sasuke flinches and makes a soft wounded noise in the back of his throat. Naruto, however, sparks with a bit of his old rebellion and life. The blond boy straightens, hands curling into fists as if he can fight the words away. His head shakes from side to side in denial, but Sai knows that no good can come from Naruto's usually stubborn attitude now. Their fight has an outcome that cannot be worked around and so he swallows, his tongue wetting his lips as it occurs to him what combination of words might work to prod Naruto into the correct response.

"You still have a promise to keep, Dickless," Sai says. He shifts Sakura in his arms and Naruto's eyes focus on her, tears welling in them still. He looks confused for a second and slowly, as if curious, Sasuke looks up at Sai as well. His face holds no curiosity, however, and Sai wonders briefly if this is what Sakura looked like just before she rushed between their fight; so determined, so terrified, so stubborn, and all of it bundled together with more love than can be described. The wind blows Sakura's hair against his neck and Sai finds he has to clear his throat again, an action he is not used to repeating so often.

"It's time to bring Sasuke back to the village," he clarifies quietly, "just as you promised Sakura you would."

The fight drains out of Naruto and Sasuke closes his eyes. Neither boys speak as they stagger to their feet, though their arms wind around each other's shoulders. Sai feels something inside him ache at the sight of Sakura's two teammates in such a state. Naruto trembles like a scared genin and Sasuke sways like an academy student, exhausted and lost, and it is not what Sai would like to see. In a better situation both boys would be able to stand on their own and they could leap through the trees, using the chakra they have not wasted on fighting one another to reach the village before the gates close, but there is something about the sight that stands out to Sai.

Perhaps it is the sunlight, fading behind the two boys as it sinks below the horizon. Perhaps it is the balance of Naruto's sun-kissed skin and fair hair against Sasuke's pale skin and dark hair. Perhaps is the way they stand, leaning against one another like two trees that have grown tall together, two solid trunks that have shaped their entire existences around the other. Sai finds that is he itching to paint the picture Naruto and Sasuke make together, shoulders against each other and arms wound like they will never let go.

He finds most of all that it is a picture he wants to paint for Sakura, to give to her as a gift, such as one does for birthdays. But Sakura will never have another birthday and she no longer has any use of paintings. The thought is followed by a list, one longer than Sai is tall, of all the things Sakura will no longer do or see or need and he finds that each and every one of them stings more than the one before it. It feels as if he has been poisoned and with a great deal of inner force Sai pushes them all away and straightens to lead what is left of Team 7 back to the Leaf village and toward a future that is darker and less filled with laughter, and light, and happiness. But that is just Sai's opinion, after all, and what does he know of real human emotions?


End file.
